Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
