i wish starbucks made bloody marys
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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