so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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