is your mom at the bar?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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