we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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