So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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