It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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