we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
