u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
