I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize