so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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