these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
