this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
