It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Houston, we have a blender
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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