Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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