I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
