I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
