Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
