You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
