I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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