he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
