youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
