Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
