if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
