Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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