Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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