I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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