did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
