my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
my liver is dry heaving
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize