you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
