Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
