we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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