...so i touched it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
