how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
