Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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