If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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