Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Never underestimate the power of titties
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