hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
