when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
