Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
