Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
