You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
oh god the rape fog is back!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
