um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
