So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
