I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
