who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
