We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
