I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
