Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
