just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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