He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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