May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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