you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
