The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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