New invention idea: vibrating tampons
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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