Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize