Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
