i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
