I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
