apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
