so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
