You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
