I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
