I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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