Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
