After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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