I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
